13 Tips for Communing with the Dead
Fall can be an intense season. As we come off the extraversion + full bloom of Summer, we get closer + closer to the Spirit World. Between the Celtic holidays of Mabon (Fall Equinox) and Samhain (Halloween), our earth shows us that death is just a part of the natural cycle of things. While this happens on the earthly plane, the veil between our waking world and the otherside gets thinner and thinner -culminating in the night of the year when the veil is the thinnest - Samhain (or Beltane in the Southern Hemisphere). For those of us with the Hermit as our life's path tarot card ...ahem.. chatting with the dead is a cozy respite from this plane. But, it can be abrasive if you're not sure what to do. Many people seek out my support in navigating these new relationships during this time of year + if they've sought me out, that means more of you are going through this initiation process, too. Yes, Spirits may show up unannounced at first because you haven't built the bridge to come together with them on your terms, but if you make space + time for them the cross-realm relationship will have room to blossom.
Here are 13 tips for communing with the dead.
1. Forget everything you learned in the movies.
Spirits are not here to kill, curse you or trap you in the attic. They are usually here to visit and share information that only they can bring to you. It is a blessing to be visited by a spirit, treat it as such.
2. It's normal to be nervous.
Think about all the explicit + subtle information you've internalized throughout your life about the dead. From every horror movie to certain religious rhetoric to your family's internalized concepts around it. It adds up to be a lot of debris + holds a lot of weight to block you from what can be a very healing spiritual union with your people on the otherside. It's okay to be nervous, but if you're reading this you're being called to move through it + reconnect.
3. Ask for privacy.
This isn't a time for your partner or kid to be buzzing around you. This is a time for your spiritual work. Ask for privacy + it will help set your work in motion.
4. Put your phone away.
Everyone in your phone + on this plane can wait. Our loved ones, ancestors + guides are around whenever we call on them. They're never too busy for us. Show reverence + let yourself be engaged. This is all part of the practice + may take time, but the phone being out of reach is a good start.
5. Set up your space.
Creating an altar will help you show yourself, the spirit world + anyone you share space with that you're committed to this experience. Include anything that comforts you or reminds you of your loved ones. Make it beautiful so you feel good sitting at it.
This isn't a casual moment, honor the ritual of it.
You + your lineage deserve this healing.
6. Protecting yourself is simple.
The hardest part of protecting yourself in Spirit Communication is remembering to do it before you start! When doing divination work always begin with a word of protection, when you're opening up your channel you have to do it with intention and grounding. Use this incantation any time you're interacting with the Spirit World + feel free to expand on or embellish it in ways that feel good for you -
"I call in only those who are in service to my highest + best good."
7. Always trust your intuition.
Yes, everyone is always telling you this now. With good reason, because our modern world is set up to tear it down so we seek outside ourselves + keep the structures in place. The part people have the most trouble with is deciphering what is their thought + what is a message. I can get philosophical about this all night but the truth is, knowing the difference will get easier with practice + your thoughts + messages are related if not the same thing when you get more experienced.
8. Know your goal.
This may sound too rigid but it doesn't have to be. Having a loose goal will help you if you get overwhelmed with the experience. If you want to go in + feel what it's like to sit with your grandma again that is a fine goal. If you want to go in and ask your uncle a specific question, that is a fine goal. If you want to ask your mom what the otherside is like or about clues when she's around, these are fine goals.
The goal is just there to guide you + help you stay committed if you get overwhelmed. Let it be a starting point.
9. Your journal is your best friend.
You're going to think you'll remember what messages you heard, what was shared but you'll only remember how you felt unless you write it down. This can look like writing down the conversation as it's happening or it can look like free writing word association that you'll understand when you look at it.
10. Be a good listener.
The most important aspect of this experience is listening.
a) Be open to what they're communicating.
b) We can't get these messages any other way- what could be more special?!
c) If they're in pain- have compassion!! How would you interact with a living person going through a hard time? What a spirit is going through is harder than we can even wrap our heads around.
11. Be a good host.
a) If you're calling on a specific spirit, include things they like on your altar to make them comfortable; their favorite food, piece of clothing, etc.
b) Show gratitude when closing the visit. It's a lot of work for them to come to us + it's wise for us to honor that. Thank them for coming + release them back to whence they came by saying:
"Thank you for being here with me. You can go back to the other realm now."
12. Use all the tools.
Remember we talked about setting up your space with an altar? This is a continuation of that. Use anything that feels right + if you need a boost from a ritual kit curated to support you in communing with the dead, grab yourself a Fall Ritual Box.
This kit includes:
-a protection spell candle dressed in pine oil + salt to guide you
-a sweet-smelling Marigold Oil to ground you
-a summoning spray aptly named Big Death Energy filled with the scents of rose, vetiver + sandalwood to open the door for your dead
-a Beetroot + Cinnamon Oxymel to get you back in your body post-ritual
-a mugwort + orange peel joint to activate your dreams
+ a ritual guide to walk you through it all
13. Aftercare is a must.
This can be a very emotional experience + it's important to set up aftercare before entering in. Aftercare
should include hydration, rest + not rushing your processing of the experience. Allow yourself comfort + have a living loved one nearby to rest into, if possible. Be proud of yourself for this work + all that you've gifted your lineage by entering into this reciprocal relationship.
Good luck in your astral travels + please feel free to reach out with questions
or book an energy healing session below to go there together. So mote it be.